What Kids Must Realize.. the earlier, the better!

Once in a father's lifetime, he would wish that someday somebody may recognize his humble efforts in making both ends meet for the family. And who would that somebody be other than your own kids. My wife? Well, I would not expect much of the same from her.. she already affirmed that when she said 'yes' to my proposal 28 years ago. Till then, we got four kids (3 boys and 1 girl; now aged 27, 25, 24 and 22 respectively).

When our kids were in their elementary days, I used to relate to them how lucky they were for being pitch to and from school by our family driver and sometimes accompanied by the maid to look at their personal grooming always and forever. Apparently, they would not understand or appreciate what I used to say as they would stare at me with blank eyes and probabaly.. blank minds also.

When I was about their age, I walk about three kms. every school day to be able to graduate from grade four. Yes, there was a primary graduation in the early 60s. And since the nearest elementary school was more or less 7 kms. away, my parents decided that I study in the poblacion. And so I enrolled at Pikit Central Elementary School and took on a harder option: that of being away from my parents at such tender age was more difficult than walking 3 kms. everyday.

I would cry silently in the middle of the night and wish that the following day is Friday so I could go home in the afternoon. It was always like that for the first few months, but as time went on, I got accustomed to it till I graduated in the elementary.

For my secondary education, I enrolled in a sectarian school. The first two years were not much a problem in terms of financial requirements. But in my third year and fourth year, when the trouble was starting to set in especially in the remote barrios, things have change quite abruptly. For moving from place to place (evacuation) my parents had to sell some working animals to make both ends meet, so-to-speak. Consequently, and not known to many, I had to resort to working while studying to be able to graduate from high school.

I would love to tell the kids this experience (or ordeal?) in the hope that it may inspire them to do better having been in a much better situation. One time, I had questioned one of the kids why he would need P100 allowance everyday when I would survive for ten pesos a week in my time. And he justified this by saying: "Well Dad, there is no point of comparison here; my father is a manager (I was then the project manager of a foreign-assisted project) while your father is just a poor subsistence farmer". Whoooaaaah huhuhu.. what a way to justify that and yet makes me dumb-founded as if my pants were falling down!!

Now in their 2os, the kids have gotten smarter, more mature and their outlook has broadened that I can comfortably talk to them and share thoughts with them on a lot of important issues. Now I fell that I don't have to make them understand, or wish that they understand, what I went through to build this family and keep it intact, and more importantly, make it safe and secure. The eldest and the second have each a child and they often tell me: "Now Dad, we understand how much you cared for us as we are beginning to step into your own shoes; how we wish that we would be as good a provider, lover and keeper as you have been and will always be.." I feel that there could not be any better complement than that.

When I was in my pre-teen and teenage days, I was exactly like my kids - I would not appreciate nor care to understand what my parents were doing to me. I thought that not having the toys I envy, especially the bicycle I was direly wishing to have, was a deprivation by choice of my parents or plain denial of what I was supposed to have. I would not take not having enough as reason for such 'deprivation'.

Thank God that I had the kind of parents, despite not having enough of resources and education, who never stopped striving to make me what I am now. It took me to have kids to understand the same.

Oh kids from anywhere and from whatever status in life: would it not be better if we realize this a little bit earlier??