An Uncensored Chat with RG (Rene Great)

(Maxim = Yours truly / Manlalaban = RG)

Maxim: Hello Brod! How are you doing?

Manlalaban: Very Fine! My heart is filled with happiness to see your poginess

Maxim: Hehehe.. the poginess that never fades just like yours.. It stays stronger and harder by the day..!

Manlalaban: I am very happy about our friendship, may it blossoms like a rose and be fruitful like the mangoes of Pikit.

Maxim: And stays sweeter than those mangoes and grows like corn.. the more mature it becomes, the harder are the kernels., hehehe!!

Manlalaban: I have read the article written by that idiot who used words... “Words are like leaves and where they most abound much fruit of sense beneath is rarely found"

Manlalaban: He just looked eloquent... but if you read it again you will see that he does not know how to use his figures... The first paragraph smacks of barbarisms...

Maxim: I'm afraid his analogy was also inappropriate.. more leaves make more fruit as photosynthesis is enhanced by more green leaves..

Manlalaban: Maybe his leaves are made of paper, incapable of photosynthesis? LOL.

Maxim: Hehehe

Manlalaban: Brod, I will let you go, even if all the time I am on and seem available... I am not really. But I am glad to see you. In the blog, I will be less aggressive in making sensible comments, I will simply keep it funny.

Maxim: Yeah, that's how I do it also in the blog.. I just ride on with what they have to say and share what I have to.. even if there were times I feel the biting blight of age gap.. in most cases I feel it’s a waste of time to just go funny without really considering if we are making sense or not .. but those young friends, as well as those who think they are still too young to be considered ‘old’, would love it that way.. so yebaaaa.. we go.. if only to keep things going on.. and forget about the age gap!!

Manlalaban: I now agree with Cat that the Psyche of the People of Pikit is deeply affected by insecurity and that they are allergic to visions and plans and sometimes sense... Pentikon ka dayon (you’re criticized outright) and they are non-respecters of sense and sensibility.

Maxim: as well as the wisdom that goes with age.. hehehe..! They forget that the older one gets, the wiser he becomes.. and until such time that wisdom is no longer distinguished from senility..hehehe..!!

Manlalaban: My frozen shoulder is better, so I have decided to go back to work for a while because now I see that retirement is boring, although I have been doing a lot of reading and writing.

Maxim: And worse, they have no respect for age gaps, i.e. between them on one hand, and the two of us on the other.. hehehe..!

Manlalaban: ako ra man ang medyo guang-guang dire.. (I’m relatively the oldest here)

Maxim: second-second ko sa imo.. hehe!!

Manlalaban: By the way, did I tell you that I am writing about the Moro Struggle?

Maxim: Seems like you had.. yeah, but you said you were just planning to write about it..

Manlalaban: I am thinking of writing more to the structure of Diwata and Bathala as inspirers of the Moro people. I will fictionize it, so no one can say it is not false aside from being a universal truth.

Maxim: Great!! the Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo were fictionalized, and yet, they were so powerful.

Manlalaban: These are the tentative titles: 1000 years of struggle

Maxim: You mean from the birth of Islam in the 13th century?

Manlalaban: How about: "Mau's Pinnacle of Greatness: An Autobiography." LOL

Maxim: Fine! I mean it’s a fitting tribute to a self-made man, who by any measure is destined for greatness.. hehehe.. But maybe No, not that way brod.. that title, I’m very sure will sell.. but it may be inconsistent with the content..!

Maxim: You mean you will reckon it from the time of the birth of Islam in the Philippines?

Manlalaban: Yes, and this is where you and I can work together .

Maxim: Hehehe.. you will end up writing a tele-novela.. remember my "The White Hankerchief"?

Manlalaban: Yeah, I do recall that great novel that you wrote.. and it has effectively made me childish.. why do I have to cry over an assemblage of words that were just carefully manipulated to polarize the senses and emotions into one set of melancholy and enormous desolation..

Maxim: hehehe.. I wrote it at a time that I was greatly affected by the untimely demise of my beloved sister.. it was a beautiful and creative amalgam of facts and fiction, I think.!

Manlalaban: We can trace it like a Great datu was advised by Bathala to cross the seas with his families and populated the Lanao Lake and the Liguasan Marsh of Cotabato.... given the gift of the fruits of the marshes.

Maxim: if you write about my life, it's not very exciting.. though i admit its colorful.. and awfully romantic.. hehehe.

Manlalaban: I see greatness of this fictional history that will catapult your name Mau or maybe Mauyag (life).... into the leader... handler of the mirror of greatness. like an amulet.

Maxim: and it would go like.. there emerged among them a brave and handsome prince who was only subtly known by the name MAU.. who epitomizes the great warriors of antiquity.. conqueror of great places and hearts of beautiful women..!

Manlalaban: Mauyag ka!! (Mabuhay!.. Long live)

Maxim: and who seem to have come from nowhere and instantly makes the beautiful women of the tribe spellbound by his demure poginess, gentle ways and creative tongue that exudes poetry as he speaks.. and though he bows before Kings and Mistresses, he makes them kneel down to their senses and awe.. as he displays his knightly wares and antics in an inimitable fashion..!

Manlalaban: The people of Pikit, though in the midst of the struggle do not really understand the reason for the unrest that has caused us to suffer so many lives lost ... long has our tears and blood shed for no apparent reason... but deep in our hearts we are really inheritors of a struggle that has destined us to become great once we resolve to have love and peace.. and work for a Maguindanaon President of the Republic of the Philippines. That is you..!

Maxim: Hehehe.. that would be the day, brod.. that would be the day..when we shall have to brandish our poginess, and whatever assets we have including POWER and AUTHORITY, in swashbuckling fashion to attract more investors and women.. hehehe..!

Manlalaban: Did you know that the early Filipino leadership was chosen according to who had the biggest p---- in the tribe?

Manlalaban: Lakan means malaki ang kanya (he has a big asset)

Maxim: I didn't know that! that's interesting, though, I would surely end up a loser if Presidents are selected that way.. hehehe.!

Manlalaban: so the great leader lives in the palace called Malacanyan. May lakan na nakatira dyan, malaki ang kanya.. (There’s a leader that stays there; his asset is big).

Maxim: but Lakandula has nothing of that sort and yet he was a great leader!

Manlalaban: how is that? He is already a LAKAN..!

Maxim: Yes, a LAKAN he is, but the authorities in the tribe made a mistake. They didn’t know he lost his LAKAN. DULA in Hiligaynon means.. nawala (lost).. hehehe.!

Manlalaban: is that so?? They should correct the history books then.!

Maxim: Yeah, they have to. I’m almost tempted to tell the National Historical Commission to start doing that.. you know, the Executive Director of the Commission lives a few blocks away from us.

Manlalaban: In the same way that your patience is similar to how long or how quickly you do sex.

Manlalaban: Your temper can also show according to how long you engage in foreplay.

Manlalaban: The sad part about is it that if your plans take so long, you might end up culminating it by self gratification.. hahaha!!

Maxim: Hehehe..you’re absolutely right.. sexual foreplay is a matter of patience. Younger people, ususally, do it fast and furious, so their patience runs out more quickly..

Manlalaban: Never let go of integrity, generousity and love, for these, coupled with energy, will lift you into the truly prosperous state of life and even in love making. So, you see life is like sex.. sometimes it is only a five-second wonder... sometimes it is life itself... a struggle to make your love happy... generousity makes you think that you cannot have love and sex alone... you must make other women happy too... and this defines generousity in its truest sense.

Manlalaban: Take all these lightly though... even if it is true.

Maxim: Now I know why good lovers make good leaders too! A few examples are: Kublai Khan for his Yang Kwei Fei, Mark Anthony for his Cleopatra, Pres. Clinton for his Monica Lewinsky, You and I for..er.. este.. we have yet to find some to become great leaders too, hehehe.!

Maxim: But wait, Erap, for having too many, did not finish his term as President.. and his jail term too!! He seems to be an exception to the rule.

Manlalaban: sure, he is.. Erap simply didn’t know how to make use of his extreme poginess; very much unlike us.!

Manlalaban: and.. energy is important.....even if fleeting and short.. life is beautiful... like sex..

Manlalaban: We have become praisers of truth... you and I because we are very much alike..

Maxim: that’s exactly how we sustain our greatness! We see things, events and life so differently.. with eyes so keen and discerning and way far off from the ordinary.. we see even ourselves and appreciate the paramount truth in us beyond the ordinary people’s eyes.. In fact, we are the enterprising individuals – who truly believe in ourselves, amazed by our own greatness and fantasize on the many great unbelievable feats that we are so capable of.. Oooh, I think this is humility exemplified to the best minimum.!

Manlalaban: Hahahahaha..!!

Maxim: so long brod.. I think this will do for now.. we have to take respite before we proceed to lose all the remaining sanity in us.. hehehe..!!

Manlalaban: Ok brod, you’re absolutely right.. I think we’ve gone too far that we have to recoup our senses right away..

Maxim: Right away brod.. right away.. I hope this is not one symptom of senility starting to set in.. NO, not yet please.. hehehe..! Hahahaha..!!

Why some are super-excited to go back to school??!!

I happened to read one message from a teenager friendster of mine, whom I don't exactly remember how I happened to accept her or me accepted by her! As I said, I already had some kind of phobia opening my 'friendster' after I recieved several comments from some youngbloods that say: "You too are fond of or hooked to friendster?? We thought this is only for the young ones like us!".. GRRRRR.. as if they own the franchise to FRIENDSTER!!

But wonder of wonders, why of so many things I can do with the computer that day, there was this great urge to open my friendster and see what's happening over there by now. And I got what i expected. Nothing has changed. The friendster is still and indeed ruled by the youngbloods. Something irreversible I think. Thank God, this has made me look for other diversions that made me feel some kind of belongingness.. I found blogging as the next best thing after friendster or certainly the best for great people of my age trying to find out their two-dollar worth in this cyber-world.

Anyway, going back to that message from a teener, and she says she's fifteen years old.. And so, I guess she's in third year high school if she entered grade one at age 7 or fourth year high school this schoolyear if she was a Promil wonder kid! She says "I'm super-excited to go back to school.. I really miss school now.." OOooww realllyy?!.. as in you miss your subjects, assignments, research works, cutting grasses, cleaning the room, etc.?? Or, you're just missing your crushes in school as there is very little chance for you to go 'eyeball-to-eyeball' because you were not so free to leave the house while you're on vacation! Maybe true, maybe not! But maybe more true than otherwise.

This has instantly aroused my super-excitedness too, but not because my youngest daugther is not equally excited for the same reasons that this girl has, but because I was deeply pondering as to what would super-excite these young ones to have great longing for school life when so many had long wanted to get out of school or finish schooling as soon as possible! Speaking of my time, I had always wanted to cut short my stay in school and I was ready to take the shortest cut if there was such a thing.

Aahh wait.. I recalled what my daughter used to say.. hehehe! "Dad, I'd better be in school always..", she said. "But why do you wish so, my girl??", I asked. "At least, you'd always give me money and I have a million reason for asking more from you.. hehehe", she said quite with an emphatic joke. A joke that's kinda hurt if not for the reason that parents don't have choices when it comes to this kind of stuff. Yes, we parents are responsible for our children's education. So we just have to take everything hook, line and sinker if our children choose the long cut for their own kind of reasons! Waaaa.. huhuhu!

We can only tell them to strive to have good grades as some kind of consolation for the hard-earned pesos derived out of our blood, sweat and tears. And as if to oblige and show they had been the ideal children that we had wanted them to be.. they say "Oh yes Dad & Mom.. don't worry.. there are only two choices.. either to be magna or summa.. magna-nine years in college or summa-sampung taon." Waaaa.. huhuhu!

Indeed, we parents have no choice. "OK, my dear daughter: by all means.. earn a college degree.. whatever that is!!"

(Note: My youngest daughter is the only one left schooling after six years in college and in her fifth.. no, not year.. school.. yes, you heard it loud and clear.. her FIFTH SCHOOL! All her three elder brothers have graduated from college. She now brags about being the lone student that we support and having the luxury of time to choose when to graduate!)

The Question (or what a question!)

(To appreciate this post better, please join me in imagining that I'm just 19 years old now. Yes, I had tried to imagine how my thoughts run at this time if I am only in my late teens.. hehehe -- Dr. Mosaid)

When I was a small kid my parents would ask me, “Son, what do you want to be when you grow up?” This seems to be the favorite question of most parents from the moment the child starts to talk. And they keep on repeating this even if they know that children, who barely remember what was said, do not give responsible answers yet.

As a child, I say what comes to my mind at the instant the question was asked. Or what I saw on TV few moments back. So at one time I’ll say, “I want to be a doctor..” The next time around I would say “I want to be a teacher, policeman, superman, batman or even wonderwoman..” Much worse, I would just want to be Chipmunks and be among the Sesame Street stars and fool around Big Bird and tell him “Ernie and Bert has some kinda relationship!”.. hehehe..!

Not once in my life did I plan what I would be in the future, near or distant. I was just a laid back guy, so I thought. That’s it. I felt that it’s hard to imagine things especially if they don’t really happen the way you wanted them to be. It could be very frustrating! Sometimes, I would just want to challenge myself to a duel in the dark.. me and myself fighting and hope that the best man wins.. or, hang myself at the back of the house using the thread that Mama used to patch up the peepholes in my short.

“Son, what do you want to be when you grow up?” Ooh, here goes this million dollar question again. I felt that if irritability can be measured, it is directly proportional to the number of times the question is asked! At one time, I just wished that I wouldn’t grow up so they would stop asking that question. But can I refuse to grow up or violate the laws of nature? At another time, I would asked, “When will science be able to make a ‘bonsai’ of man?”

Can you imagine It was imposed upon me to study multiplication, division, square root at the tender age of grade one?!! It was so annoyingly boring.. Grrrrrhh! And to think that I was not a Promil wonder kid. I was just fed Liberty condensed milk alternated with Alaska, for almost ten years and sometimes water mixed with sugar when they run out of money or when the suking tindahan (variety store) would deny them credit.

Sometimes, if not always, parents wouldn’t mind that you are forced into something you don’t want or enjoy doing. Is it because they want you to be good at what they were not before! Ok, they were the ones paying for my tuition but are they the one who would make use of what I had learned or have to learn?? Or worse, they would say: “Son, I want you to be like that son of our neighbor.. he’s the brightest in his class.. did you see him?” Sometimes, I got apprehensive that next time around they would ask me to be like Jose Rizal or Albert Einstein or Mahatma Gandhi.

Yeah, I had my chance to be counted among the honor pupils from the primary grades to high school. And so they thought that I can be what they wanted because I was doing fine in school. What they didn’t know was my high grades had been the product of my silent protests before. I hate to do errands. In short, I was lazy, and until now. So I would read and read my textbooks pretending to be studious. It was better to read and sit down idly than run errands for them. Good riddance, it was a creative way to cover up for laziness!

I do believe that life should not be planned at the very early stage. So many things happened that were not in the books, so many events unfold that were not planned. Changes and events go side by side with growing up and I would imagine that if one got the pluck, he can just lunge into the place for him amidst those running episodes of life and events. Just like the fish ‘tuna,’ their lives depended on the water currents and when they get somewhere near General Santos City, they would end up inside those tin cans with the appropriate labels. They taught us good values and how to love our neighbors, but not once did they taught us self defense when these neighbors make a fool out of us or when we get busted out of love!

“Son, what do you want to be when you grow up?” I don’t want to grow up anymore..! It’s so nice to just be a small child.. play in the neighborhood, go to the malls sometimes and eat at your favorite fastfood lane.. or go camping. That’s all.

Now, I am a man, a real grown-up man. Now, I know what I wanted to be. With a basketful of experiences and what I went through all my life, as my adam’s apple become more and more distinct, as my waist shapes up and muscles start to build up like small cysts, I know for sure that I just wanted one thing. If I had known what LIFE was all about when I was a small child, I would have readily given them just one consistent answer. And when they ask me that question again, I would tell them.. “I just want to be HAPPY when I grow up.”

And when they tell me I did not understand the question then, I will tell them now that they did not understand me and my life too.

Some words on Mother's Day!

May 11 this year is Mother's Day. And how I wish my mother is still around so I can make up for lost times and opportunities. This notion cannot be more factual than now: "You learn to value something/someone more after you lost them". Now that she's in the other sphere of the cosmic world, I only have these words for her: "May her soul rest in peace; may she stays in the bossom of the Lord's care.."

On Mothers Day, thank your Mother. The best opportunity is when they are still around. There is simply no way we can ever really thank mother for all she has done for us. Consider these: She is the one who will be awake all night when we are sick. Praying to God to make us well and be ever ready to bear the pain that we may be experiencing. She is the one to wake up early in the morning to make the nicest tiffin and endure all our tantrums. Mothers are the ones who would forever complain that we are not eating enough or not eating right. They would cook all sorts of things so that we be strong and healthy.

I know very well how mothers feel. I have the best mother of my children in my wife. And this family wouldn't be a complete whole without her.

Mothers are everything for us when we are small...our lives revolve around her. For everything that we need we call mother. To protect us from all perceivable dangers we want her around us. To take us out we hold her arms. To kiss away our wounds we run to her. And for a warm hug and love we look for her. She is the focal point of our lives, the greatest human being in the world or should we say divinity on earth. On the special occasion of Mothers Day pay tribute to your mother - the greatest blessing of God on you.

Mothers love to be loved, remembered and pampered especially on a special ocassion like this. . For me, it's more than enough that we have each other everyday of the year and every mother's day.

Below, I endeavoured to put together words that express every meaning that symbolizes that special attachment, reverence and tribute that mothers deserve on Mother's Day. They are intentionally shortened, and in some cases paraphrased, so that they can be transmitted in SMS - the now considered state-of-the-art way to send messages in leiu of the letter written on specially decorated perfumed paper when the luxury of the mobile phone was so far out of touch yet.

Words are appreciated for their meanings, and when they are put together to form phrases, sentences, paragraphs, and so on.. they express a variety of feelings, emotions, infatuations, purpose, motives, and what have you. We may think words are nothing more than little simple assemblage of the alphabet, but they mean a lot to mothers when these words sincerely come from the loving hearts of children. They will be happier with words beautifully and creatively expressed than material things.

Again, I have gone quite far.. and forgot that this is 'cheap talk'. No.. Mothers are never cheap talk topics. It just happened that I have to post this here because this blogsite has relatively more visitors than my other blogsites.. hehehe!

Before, we bcome misty-eyed, here are some sample messages you can send to your mom on Mother's Day:

1. God's omnipresence is made more manifests when He created mothers. Happy Mother's Day!!

2. "M" is for the million things she gave me,
"O" means only that she's growing old,
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,
"H" is for her heart of purest gold,
"E" is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
"R" means right, and right she'll always be.

3. Once upon a memory. Someone wiped away a tear. Held me close and loved me. Thank you, Mother dear. Happy Mother's Day.

4. The Miracle of Life nurtured by a woman who gave us love and sacrifice...MOTHER. Happy Mother's Day!!

5. For the best mom who always had a smile for me, I know we may be far apart right now. So here's a great big hug and kiss. Happy Mother's Day.

6. When you feel you are alone in the crowd, when you think no one understands you, when your love is rejected by others, & when you hate your life, just close your eyes & see her face who loves you more than any 1 else, who cares for you in loneliness, & dies when you cry. Happy Mother's Day.

7. She is no 1, but your sweet loving mother. Love your mom first and always. I take this opportunity to thank you for your immeasurable contribution to my life. Thank you Mom! And wish you a Very Happy Mother's Day!

8. You've seen me laugh; You've seen me cry; And always you were there with me. I may not have always said it, but thanks and I love you very much. Happy Mother's Day.

OK guys? If you can't say it with flowers and cards, say it through text, or better still, buy her a brand new cellphone - the latest from her favorite brand.. hehehe! Isn't that the best way to pamper your Mom on Mother's Day??!!